The food.....

So I've got me a pretty sweet routine here - my beloved wife brings me a few snacks when she comes to visit but beyond that I receive three square meals a day, chopsticks n all.

8am, 12am and 6pm on the dot, and always with a half an hour foreshadow cup of weak cha and oshibori (disposable wet hand towel.)

I was apprehensive regarding the food as many a witness had testified to the horror concoctions that are served up three times daily in a Byoin (hospital). But I've been pleasantly surprised, yes on the occasional day you get a mushy type soupy vapidity that looks about as appetizing as salted brick; but if mix it in with the immortal bowl of rice and the omnipresent pickled veges -  you have a meal... transformed. *insert magical music*

But the meals in truth have been pretty good, it peaked a night or so ago (the nights and days here become one) when they served tempura with a nice soya sauce. MECHA OISHI DESU! They have also served up crumbed fish; some over sized lettuce parcels loaded with chicken and the other day a bit of spag bol. I'd say it reminded me of home - but that's bollocks; my mum is from Yorkshire and I don't see these Japanese chefs knocking out any Yorkshire puddings anytime soon.

Oooop, my breakfast has just been served now; let's have a looky look.

Large white bowl with rice  (with small packet of rice sprinkle flavouring) - Check.

Miso with rounded white bread croutons - Check.

Smaller side dish of spinachy stuff mixed with shredded chicken - Check.

Second side dish with fried/boiled tofu and a few token carrots - Check.

Okay so each dish on its own warrants nothing to wet the bed about - but mix it all in with the rice and you've got yourself a banger brekky/ranchii/ban-gohan. Bam!

Stay classy internet..

Lunch? Breakfast? Couldn't say sorry.

Hospital Drama!

Ahoy there!

That aint cran

I've found a sliver of WIFI here at the hospital, which is nice. It is kind of off and on again but it's good to have some semblance of contact with the outside world.

Anyway – for those that don’t know I have had ACL knee reconstruction in a Japanese hospital – Edogawa Byoin to be precise. The operation went really well and from what I can understand from the doctors, nurses and orderlies my progress has been extremely rapid. Four days out and I’m flexing at 90 degrees.

Here's a small outline of what happened – beware – contents can be graphic

Sunday

I went in Sunday night with a cloud in my heart, as I would be missing the Rugby World Cup Final. I had been told that there is no WIFI here and wouldn’t be allowed if it was. Despite this I tried many way to source a way to watch it - I had even tried to coerce the nurses etc into letting me escape from 5pm to find an internet cafe/sports pub. But I needed to be back by 4pm so that plan was out of the b@stard question. So about 4.30 I thought I'd read a book on my laptop and discovered I had a tiny sliver of WIFI. Which is a miracle - it must be from a local business or something. But anyway I managed to get a tiny connection with a sports website and watched the rugby and the trophy presentation live. No food from 9pm Sunday night.

Monday (surgery day)

Woke early - sleep was not too bad and Hannah visited with snacks and loving prior to the surgery. In the OR I had my little gown thing stripped from me down to my undies while the spinal epidural was administered and I was out not long after the general anesthetic. Awoke three hours later with Hannah and nurses making a fuss and I was trying hard to speak Japanese. It all is very hazy around this point as I was in and out of consciousness and unable to sit up let alone move at all to check my position. From what I could tell I had a tube in my back to my spine, a big one from my knee, one to my vein (IV drip) and one in my wang (how pleasant). I also had two things rhythmically blowing up around my feet to help my circulation. Bollocks knows where my undies were. So yeah a fairly hazy - yet pain free day slowly becoming cognizant with Han watching Scrubs and Bear Grylls. Still no food at this point.

Not my strongest point of my stay

Monday night

Monday night wasn't so good. The bloke next to me snored like a fat drunken harpy with nine noses. That as well as the pain in my upper legs (not the operation area) were driving me spare. I was also having hot cold flushes and the annoying things on my feet were tantamount to water torture by the end of the night. A brief session of coughing yielded a lovely green vomitathon - and bless the nurses for trying so hard. Not the most fun I’ve had but I’d still rate it higher than a kick to the bollocks.

Abe-San doing a peace sign for the camera - who would've thought

Tuesday

Tuesday wasn't too bad. Food! Yes! A nurses gave me a rough sponge bath, changed my pajamas and in the late morning my IV and wang tubes were removed – by the nose of Eddie Hitler do you know how far up those things go! It was terrifying – mainly because I couldn’t communicate or receive any reassurance from the nurses! Still had the tube with red blood flowing from my knee to a bottle and confirmed that there was indeed a tube in my spine administering painkiller - which is nice if not a little horrific given that my doctor told me that the primary risk from this operation is spinal infection and should it all go pear shaped there is a high risk of paralysis. Yaaay! Hannah visited again as well as my Kiwi chum Steele and a Texan from work called Brian (one time he used the term “Darlin”). I was still pretty drugged up so couldn't write, forget about reading - even watching tv was a bit shizen. Despite this they took me down stairs to try some rehab and amazingly got a 10-degree flex from my knee - I thought it was premature but evidently not. Going to the toilet was so difficult - It's like trying to clean your ear with a piece of watermelon - everything about it is ridiculous and you get juice and pips everywhere. The toilets are too small for a wheel chair (extremely Japanese).  I also have to cart my spinal and knee ooze cannisters around my neck like some grim Gothic vampiric totem.

View from my window if I max out my bed -
even better in the morning (see below)

Tuesday night

Worst night sleep I've ever had. Sincerely. The snorer now has 1000 noses at twice the volume and my knees were aching deeply. I asked for some earplugs but they can only be purchased from the hospital cafe during the day. *sigh* Mental note - miraculously appear in that cafe and gaff em of every pair. I tried a syringe of itami-dome (painkiller) but to no avail and I eventually settled for a (self administered) suppository (zayaku) at about 5am and the sweet peace was amazing.

Wednesday

Extremely tired again due to the horror show snore/pain-fest, but the removal of my last two tubes was something to look forward too. Pity I had to watch him slowly pull about 15cm of 3 ml tubing out of my knee. But it was good to be free of those two final parasitic annoyances (even if they were there to help me;). I'm right next to the window and so I usually open it up and can look out over a cemetery and temple in the background - autumn is beautiful in Japan as is the cool air. Had rehab again today - got it to about 80 degrees which is so swift. They've also got me the largest pair of crutches I've every seen, evidently the mighty Goliath was sent here for treatment after David’s head-shot. Good healing progress though and to be honest apart from associated muscle pain in the evening, I've had no pain directly from the operation area. I bought some (me me-sen) (earplugs - yesssss) on the way back from the rehab room. Spent a nice night watching some TV shows (Scrubs and Lie to me) as I still didn't have the fortitude to read, let alone write.  Unfortunately all the movies I have brought with me are heavy heavy involved type dramas (e.g. Winters Bone), and I simple couldn’t possibly watch any of them. As soon as it was lights out I "locked in" another suppository, a minzai (sleeping tablet) and pushed those earplugs so far into my ear you'd think I had confused them with the suppository. Oh the pretty colours as I fell asleep.

Wednesday night

Slept like a rock. A rock inside another rock... on the bottom of the ocean… with Dom DeLuise sitting on it. So good.

Thursday

Hannah visited and we listened to the recycling truck collecting cans for 40 minutes. She also brought some more snacks which is nice, the food here isn't too bad but it helps to have some treats on hand (three bags of sour lollies). They put me on a machine that automatically flexes my knee 80 degrees. Some more rehab at 3pm and again was good. My physio Abiru's English is about as good as my Japanese so that makes it tricky but we get by and I'm flexing to 90 degrees now which is terrifying when you've held a ACL injury for over a year and you're two days after surgery.

But yeah as of 3 and a half days of surgery I feel great :D

A big thanks to wonderful wifey Hannah for looking after me.

You!

Something I never in my life thought I would have to do...

So I'm sure you all know of the drama and shenanigans that have been unfolding in Japan over the past six months. We have bore witness to the lot. and although we moved to Japan with a thirst for some adventure - I don't think we ever imagined it to be like this.

Every street corner a mech

Yes, the land of the rising yen has been hit by every stereotype imaginable; from earthquakes to typhoons to nuclear mishaps to giant daikaiju terrorising coastal villages and leveling the land whilst fighting laser discharging mechs.

I know that Japan has a somewhat - and if I may be candid - nuclear history, but I never in my wildest dreams thought whilst living here would need to carry around crudely drawn kanji characters in my wallet so as I can identify irradiated produce. 

I kid you not, there have been many reports of irradiated meat, fruit and vege from affected areas such as Fukushima and Ibaraki that are not safe for consumption.

So I got the kanji, made copies for Han and I and we carry them around with us at all times.

Just the other day I spied some nice cheap green beans in a local grocer, picked them up and checked the kanji to find it was from Fukushima. Further investigation led me to realise that all the cheap fruit and vege in that shop was from one of the two areas. 

I understand the government is attempting to keep the economy of the Tsunami struck areas going - some folk even buy the fruit and vege and then dispose of it just to aid the burgeoning economy. 

This strategy of ignoring issues like this is fairly typical of Japan from what I understand - there is no culture better in the world at ignoring the two trunked elephant in the corner of the room.

So Hannah and I continue to live here safely - but there is an elephant lurking in the corner of our mind and it is hard not to ask it - why are we here amongst the flood of risky stereotypes?

The top Kanji is Fukushima. The other is Ibaraki.

Never leave home without it

Izu Inatori: Day One

Home for a day or so

Well here we are in Izu-Inatori.

Firstly, it’s lovely.

Killin time: We arrived a little ahead of check-in so we went for a little walk around the township. The place is pretty small can’t be any more than a few thousand – not a gaijin in sight. On our little jaunt we spotted a butterfly the size of my hand, a low hanging nest of tiny little swallows and small tank with the most energetic and reactive turtle we have ever seen.

"Got a problem bro?"

The Rza: Ryokan Senoumi, where we are staying is wonderful. The staff are overly attentive and English speakers are a rarity and broken at best, but they try very hard. We had a 15-minute introduction with a woman with no English – there were a few scratched heads to be sure. Our room has a sea view and is very traditional with tatami mats and the set in area with a picture and ikebana that is an old Japanese room feature.  The balcony over looks a fish shaped public pool and just beyond that dug into the rocky shore is a large swimming area. It is also traditional to note that a stay in a ryokan includes breakfast and dinner – although dinner is more of a banquet.

Got a light?

Seafood overload: Prior to coming down to Izu I bemoaned our lack of experimentation in the Japanese snack market. I really wish I hadn’t bought us those god awful fish jerky things as the first meal – nay - banquet contained more experimentation than one could truly imagine. It was a fish banquet and was beautifully and meticulously presented. We enjoyed it but it did feel a tad weird to eat so much fish – we’re just not used to it. I drew the line at the sea snails. They are horrific – I took a nibble and I could not see, taste or understand one redeemable feature of them. The tastes was acrid yet musty, chewy yet crunchy and was completely without pleasure. Will bypass those bad boys next time I’d say.

Old Coach: It was nice to see a bottle of NZ red on the wine list, and when the wine list only contains 5 wins varieties that is all the more impressive and thus Hannah enjoy the explorative feast with a bottle of Old Coach Road Malbec Merlot Cabernet. Very nice indeed and Hannah and I spent the evening playfully dancing around our ryokan room in our Yukata.

Izu or bust(ed) ligament

Hannah almost gets her face eaten
off by a rogue flower

Dancer: We are gassing it down the Izu Penisula coast in a fast train, also known as a Romance Car; apparently its name is “Dancer”. It is nowhere as near as fast as the Bullet train but still thwacks along at a fairly impressive pace. The window is down and my arm is outside the carriage being softly buffeted by a thick warm wind – it is bloody beautiful. So that is our latest little holiday in Japan. We’re headed to Izu-Inatori to a Ryokan Onsen resort called Senoumi for three nights. A somewhat pricey affair at 70,000 yen per person, but it includes hot mineral springs, breakfast, dinner and the train fair there and back so I think it is well worth it.

Good to see you: It is a minter of a day out as I gander out the window to my left and watch the ocean break on the rocks – it is quite nice to the see the ocean again as it has been over six months since I saw it – which isn’t long, but kind of is when your used to living a few minutes from the ocean your whole life. I used to frequently wander down to Oriental Parade back home and it’s those little difference that catch up with you, yielding a wasted sentimentality that felling that can build within you: Longing. Anyway it is good to see the big blue bastard.

Still ballin

Best laid plans of Mr and Mrs Elks: I’ll let you in on a secret- this trip was arranged a mere two days ago. We had made plans months ago to go on a cycling tour of Nagano and Niigata. We were looking forward to it as anyone would. There is a company that organizes private tours and a bloke had tailor-made us a five day tour with cycling, trekking and climbing Mt Naiba, Onsen (hot spring) and Ryokans (Japanese Inns) and it was looking great – until three days ago when he called me and told me the tour needed to be cancelled due to a shoulder injury *gutted*. I was a little disappointed to say the least but these things happen. We went back to the drawing board – a real crap drawing board though as it is Obon week – perhaps the busiest and most expensive week of the year for travel and vacation.  Seriously it is horrible hotels, tours and packages etc double, triple and even quarazzle in price. But after a day or so of faffing we organized this delightful package and we are happy as Larry. By the way, who the smeg is Larry and why is he such a cheery fellow? By the way even though it was cancelled I totally recommend the company that do the bike tours - Kevin the guy organising it did a great job catering for our needs: onelifejapan

Farewell Liggy, I hardly knew ya: To be honest it (the trip cancellation) could all be seen as a gloriously silver lined cloud (Note: I am not a “glass half full” kind of guy – I’m more of a glass moderately full sort of a fellow). We had a work BBQ in the bush on Saturday and they had this giant group skip rope activity “It’ll be lots of fun for sure.” Mmmmm - wasn’t so fun when I tore my Anterior Cruciate ligament clean in half upon landing. No sireee Bob (who is this Bob? And why the formal title?) It is an injury I started over a year ago playing football with about a 90% tear. Bam 100%! Goody. So we’re lucky really as there would be no way on God’s luscious green earth I’d be able to cycle for any length of time – let along walk for more than an hour without it ballooning up. On the moderatle sort of full side of things the swelling has receded and pain is not an issue.

Anyway that is us so far. Will give you an update from Izu-Inatori! S’gonna be great!

Today was a good day...

Just another day in radiationville


Just waking up in the mornin gotta thank God
I don't know but today seems kinda odd
No barkin from the bento guy, no smog
And Hannah cooked a breakfast with loads a hog.


Took the lil bike for a spin, swervin j-peeps, out and in
Shots some hoops, didn't pop a knee out
Stopped for a streamer coffee, low'd and chi'd out
I gotta say today was a good day.

Phew! I was beginning to wonder if this was Miami